Why do we want our success to be loud but our pain to be silent?

I believe a part of my own purpose in this life is to continually remind myself and others to have compassion and create space for our emotional pain and the most hidden parts of ourselves. To share and be vulnerable about the raw human emotions I've dealt with, and that I know we all deal with. I firmly believe there is so much wisdom found at the core of our deepest emotions, that are often not pleasant or easy to confront.

All my life I've deeply appreciated authenticity. I did not like pretending even if it made others feel uncomfortable. So during my periods of depression I often wrote about it or made music of it, or posted a blog post about it, because I wanted to change the mindset we have on talking about these vulnerable subjects. I wanted to share a new narrative that says: it's okay to not always be ok. And even if it wasn't depression but just a really hard day or week, being overwhelmed with life, feeling lonely or just living on survival mode, I often felt like "why don't we all talk about these feelings more, why is it so hard?"

I do know why. We are all conditioned to believe that expressing our deepest emotions is often not safe of received well. Perhaps we might be judged or looked at weird. Many of us just often don't want to be THAT person, but rather just fit in and talk about things that are more easy and pleasant to talk about. Being looked at as the "sad, intense, emotional person" might get you shunned out of your social circles, or have people believe you are weaker than the rest. Which naturally is not at all true.

Feeling emotions deeply without running away from them actually shows great inner strength and courage.

Society and our culture also teaches us that only when we achieve things, do more and "succeed" we get a pat on the back and are told we are worthy.

Also, know that I am not talking about ruminating in your pain, getting attached to the story of being in pain, or glorifying pain in any way. I am simply talking about giving that pain a voice and allowing all of us to be human and share that part of us as well without being judged.

When we experience emotional pain, or any emotions we are receiving important messages from our unconscious. It is saying "look at this, please do not ignore me." But because we are taught feeling pain is dangerous and unsafe, we distract ourselves over and over again from the pain.

What I would love to see is all of us feeling free and safe to talk about all the emotions we really experience underneath the surface. Because they are so common and human! We all experience them, and that is one of the biggest things that deeply connects us with each other and helps us feel empathy for another. The ability to feel.

We can only rise as high as we have descended below. So when we experience grief, or anger, or depression for example, we are actually getting the greatest gift of getting to know ourselves on a deeper level. If you let yourself feel and stay with your emotions, you will eventually meet the REAL YOU, who has been waiting to get your attention for so long. But as long as we keep ignoring our emotions or giving them the bare minimum attention, we can only see glimpses of this version of us.

I love to hear and read about all the beautiful success stories that often get posted on social media but I wish our more vulnerable stories could get the spotlight too once in a while. Life is a balance after all. We rise and we fall, over and over again.

So once in a while, I hope we could ask ourselves if there are moments where we can be more honest, true and more vulnerable. Let's lower the bar on talking about real emotions and real life. This way we can support and carry each other through the storms we all experience. I don't believe we are not meant to sail through them alone.

May every human aspect of us be LOUD, not just our successes.